Oxymoron of the Day: "Quality Center"

Yes, even better than Military Intelligence.
Author: NT

Mr. Chris "Huston, we have a problem" D.

Meaning: "Huston, we have a problem with TVVM again!"

Author: PK, NT

Glaswegian Diet

Meaning: Shallow-fried Mars bar.
Author: CD

It's Scrum Jim, but not as we know it!

Team.moto: It's Scrum Jim, but not as we know it!
Meaning: "I know scrum, me!" "Anyway, this is what we have to do... - in the little time available to us, so update your estimates on what you can achieve in this time, I'll ignore them, you do all the work anyway and I'll bitch when the work you didn't commit to isn't done - PS: Unit tests included 8-)"

Author: NT

Tuna Clashes

Meaning: To over-utilise certain hardware resources
Author: NT

I.P.S

Meaning: Irritable Personality Syndrome - some more than others!
Author: GD

Curryfuckyou

Quote.perseeved: "Here's your curry, now Fuck You!"
Meaning: "Hi. I'm your favourite clueless curry waiter. Here's your 5 currys but I'm not going to tell you which curry is which because you ordered 10 poppadoms and I delivered 10 poppadoms each (which, surprisingly, you didn't want at 85p per-pop and are coming out of my wages), so here's a plate of moldy chips and burnt curry to mask the smell of raw sewage wafting around this pub (with only one Ale on tap because it's not that type of area)."
PS: "Why you wan see bill before pay?" (seemed to have slipped into a Chinese one there - ed)
PPS: Service definately not included! - FH
PPPS: "Authentic!" - GD
Author: GC
Poppadoms:

Hacking cough

Meaning: Every software Engineer's nightmare - worse than the Flu!

Author: FH, GC.

Bush Oil

Meaning: Lubrication to prevent female smoking [Vag-lube to you and me - ed] and nothing to do with the invasion of Iraq.

Author: GD, GC